Kona-Wona, My Boy

Dear Tracy

I have lost ‘someone’ very dear to me and very dear to you. Words to describe the loss fail me now when I thought they would overflow as my cup of sorrow has. It seems that the picture would not be complete without saying something about him though. I do wish that it could be easier for me to speak about how special he was but it is not so we will just have to wait.

Throughout his time with us you gave Kona everything he and I could have hoped for, and more. You went to the ends of the Earth and beyond for him and for that I am forever indebted to you.

I would have loved to come home every day to find him waiting for me but I knew all along that it would have been very selfish of me. He found more happiness spending every day with you than he would find anywhere else. I believe that he lived for the days that you pottered around and went about your things while he kept an eye on you. He also loved putting on a big display to keep strangers away.

It never annoyed him when Kimmy ‘attacked’ and he never held grudges after being kicked out or reprimanded. When thinking about that quality in his nature, I remembered a story and dug it out the archives. I think we all ‘fed’ him good things in our own ways. While he may have been naughty or mischievous, I don’t think he was ever malicious or bad, and perhaps this explains it best.

The wolf inside

• An elderly Cherokee was teaching his grandchildren about life.
  >
  > He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and
  > it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil… he is fear, anger, envy,
  > sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
  > inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego. The
  > other is good… he is joy, peace, love hope, sharing, serenity, humility,
  > kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion
  > and faith. The same fight is going on inside you and every other person,
  > too.”
  >
  > They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his
  > grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
  >
  > The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

The evil wolf never had a home in him.

As sad as I am now, I can be happy that he was able to be such a lovable part of our family and looking back through all the trauma and episodes, it is difficult to remember him being unhappy or miserable. He arrived at a stage when I was going through a rough period and had wounds in me. He went one step further and got himself some serious wounds so that I could see for myself how they could heal and how he set them aside bravely and turned himself into something so wonderful.

I would really have loved him to grow old with us, doing all the things that kept us amused like digging for moles, barking at trucks and donkeys, slobbering on the kitchen floor, putting his heavy paw on our legs (And accidentally on Kimmy) playing cricket, going for runs and spending more winter nights taking the whole of the bed as he used to, but he won’t. The rain and wind will smooth over the holes, the truck drivers will look into an empty yard and the donkeys will venture closer than before. The kitchen floor will be bone dry and Kimmy will be able to drop her guard, our ball games will be one player less, Norman will have to run on his own and our legs will have an uncomfortable abundance of space in bed.

Suppertime will never have the same ceremony and we will not be able to show off all his tricks anymore. “Out” will return to its original meaning and “Ok” will just be another word. Happy’s “Hey” will remind us so much of what once was but the deaf ears are now gone. Shopping and groceries will get to the kitchen without the usual inspection and visitors will not have to run the gauntlet of crotch sniffing. The scorpions and centipedes will go unnoticed and you will have to carry a torch between houses. The birds in the garden will have to amuse themselves with a different game. All these things will change back to what they were but we will have the pleasure of knowing that they were made possible and all the more special by an exceptional dog called Kona.

Gee, we really loved him and how I would love to have one more throw of his stick and to see the expressions on his face as he returned. For now, all those actions and emotions will have to be saved to memory.

He would be really happy if he somehow knew, in human terms, how happy he made us all during his brief stay. There will never be another one like him but, then again, I would never expect there to be. Maybe he was just too young to ever get old.

All he ever wanted was love and that’s all you ever gave him. He sure loved you for that and so do I!