Captains Log, Stardate 2016eleventy.9.3

Captains Log, Stardate 2016eleventy.9.3

A mysterious planet has appeared, as if out of the dark ages, orbiting a sun that shines out of the back of something unknown to us. Our Klingon hostages are equally intrigued. This planet is indeed flat and yet it turns, impossible to make head or tail of it. Our landing party reports that there is life, but not as we knew it. Somewhat Zorg-like. They appear to be human but they behave in a most peculiar way. Rounded ears confirm they are not from Spock’s tribe. The inhabitants confirm that the largest continent is ‘Africa’. There is no gravity, dead birds simply float by and politicians, despite their best efforts, are unable to fall. Attempts to find a leader have come to nought. Suspiciously low morale is prevalent and rumours abound that everyone has the same power to vote. Strange. Our informant is adamant that there will be a ‘democratic election’ and this unusual planet will return to a ‘Solar System’ and call itself ‘Earth’. When the stars line up we shall return to this galaxy to investigate further. Perhaps by then a new leader will have emerged. Hard to say with this lot. We must tell this story to Roald Dahl, wonder if he will be more amused or bemused. This is the Captain signing off.